After coming across a bag of Tootsie Rolls drifting through the void of space - likely mistaken for trash and ejected by astronauts from the USS SuckADickBiden - aliens from the far reaches of our realm collected and tasted the little turd-like sweets. The candies, although they look pretty shitty at first glance, completely mesmerized the green creatures and their curious taste buds. With the new and exciting taste still fresh in their tentacles or whatever the fuck, they knew they had to share their discover with their kind back home. However, to their dismay, they discovered that their greed had gotten the better of them; all of the tootsies were gone...
Upon immediate inspection of the Tootsie Roll bag, and with use of their handy Communication Heuristic Express Expression Matchmaking System (CHEEMS), they were able to decipher the foreign symbols on the bag to reveal a clue - "Made in Hershey, Pennsylvania, USA".
To one strapping young alien lad, something seemed familiar. "USA...", he started, "that looks awful familiar to the USS we saw on that one spacecraft a few parsecs ago".
"You're right" another stated in agreement. "What were the other symbols on that ship again?" he asked.
"SuckADickBiden" a third replied.
"Ah yes that's right, SuckADickBiden".
"I believe it was orbiting the planet called Earth" stated the first lad.
"Then to Earth we must go" replied the third and second in unison.
After a brief discussion with the rest of their green companions, the aliens decided on a course to Earth, and their spacecraft soon began it's journey back to the planet they had passed earlier in their voyage...
In only a matter of weeks, they thought, they would have their hands on the precious delectable treats they found floating through the Great Vacuum. No matter the cost, their kin at home must taste what they had.
No matter the cost...
Upon immediate inspection of the Tootsie Roll bag, and with use of their handy Communication Heuristic Express Expression Matchmaking System (CHEEMS), they were able to decipher the foreign symbols on the bag to reveal a clue - "Made in Hershey, Pennsylvania, USA".
To one strapping young alien lad, something seemed familiar. "USA...", he started, "that looks awful familiar to the USS we saw on that one spacecraft a few parsecs ago".
"You're right" another stated in agreement. "What were the other symbols on that ship again?" he asked.
"SuckADickBiden" a third replied.
"Ah yes that's right, SuckADickBiden".
"I believe it was orbiting the planet called Earth" stated the first lad.
"Then to Earth we must go" replied the third and second in unison.
After a brief discussion with the rest of their green companions, the aliens decided on a course to Earth, and their spacecraft soon began it's journey back to the planet they had passed earlier in their voyage...
In only a matter of weeks, they thought, they would have their hands on the precious delectable treats they found floating through the Great Vacuum. No matter the cost, their kin at home must taste what they had.
No matter the cost...