Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking with just a little flight information.
Coming up on the left, we’re going to be catching a glimpse of the Grand Canyon.
On the right you can be able to see the Hoover Dam in just a few minutes.
We will then begin our ascent, flying at an altitude of 37,000 satoshis and our airspeed is 400 miles an hour.
So just sit back, and enjoy the rest of your flight.

Comment:

We're experiencing some minor turbulence. Us pilots figured you deserve a close up view of the grand canyon.

Comment:

We've lost an engine and seem to be continuing our downward ascent. Please secure your oxygen masks.